Friday, May 28, 2010

Missing Out

Fred is missing another family event today. My brother's graduation is today, and these situations magnify for me that he is missing out while he is in rehab. We missed his sister's graduation earlier in the month, and I canceled his flight for my sister's wedding today. The silver lining in the fact that he is missing these events is that he will be here with us for future events and celebrations. I had realized before the accident that Fred and I were a good team, but his temporary absence makes me appreciate all the things he does.

Today Fred was going on an outing with the therapists to walk along some canal and have lunch. I haven't heard yet how it went, but I know doing little things that feel like a normal life are important to him right now. Even going to the grocery store can be exciting when you're stuck in a hospital/rehab day and night. The occupational therapist had asked Fred what our division of labor was at home. He was honest with her and said I do most of the day to day cooking, and he told her I get mad at him if he starts a load of laundry because that's all he does is start it. Then it sits in the washer until I discover it moldy and smelly. I think I'll have a talk with the OT and see if she can work in the therapy to have him be better at household chores when he comes home!

It's my first weekend being home since the accident. I feel a little guilty enjoying being away for the weekend. I miss seeing Fred and having Kalyn and Fred visit, but I don't miss being inundated with emotions as you see other people that weren't as fortunate as Fred to come out of their accidents with the potential of returning to their prior lives. I am so thankful that Fred gets to be there to do his rehab because I can see that it is one of the best places in the country to be, but I'm a dangerous combination of a curious person with very thin skin, so I walk around the halls overwhelmed with what everyone else is going through. Being home is good, but it's another reality that everyone else still has a life that they are living day to day. My whole world came to a stand still last month, but everyone else has kept moving.

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