4 weeks later

Yesterday Fred was sent to the grocery store with his occupational therapist to shop for the patient cooking day. Since he is the former chef of the group, he was put in charge. They had decided on a menu of burgers, potato salad and a dessert. Today was the actual cooking day, and Fred did a good job of managing the kitchen between the other patient/cooks and figuring out where it would be easier to just do something himself. I wish I could have been there to watch the whole experience!

When I saw Fred's primary doctor on Monday, he was asking me if I could see a big difference in Fred after being gone for almost a week. My answer was yes, but really now that Fred's physical trauma is healing, I can see more of the brain injury. The first few weeks he was tired and in so much pain from everything that was trying to heal on his body besides the brain, that I could ignore everything else because who can really focus or be that attentive when you have a lot of pain.

Now I can see how is slowed down a little and needs to spend the time right now at rehab and getting better. I'm trying to face my day to day life which includes trying to remember Fred coming home not being easy, especially for me, insurance billing confusion and a two year old that tells me that daddy is getting better at the hospital. She is a princess obsessed little girl, so we have a plethora of magic wands in the house, and I'm still looking for the one that actually works! Everyone has been wonderful wanting to help, but what I really need is a way to shut my brain off from the hours of 1-3 a.m. and let me sleep.

It has officially been 4 weeks since the accident, and it is amazing to look back and see how far Fred has come. He has made amazing progress week by week, but the future is still so uncertain and scary for me. I can still hold on to my belief that this whole experience will be a positive one for us in the long run even while I am gripped with terror from my life being turned upside down and scattered. It's a pretty wild ride to feel such opposing emotions at the same time.