Saturday, May 22, 2010

Being Realistic

I had a realization last night that I was setting myself up for another major disappointment. At least this time I caught it before it was a major blow. People have told me that even after Fred gets out it is going to be a tough process getting readjusted back at home and that I will need help. I realized I had been ignoring that and assuming once they released him from inpatient care that he would be ready to get back to his regular day to day schedule.

It's hard to get a real answer out of anyone around here on time frames because they either don't know or they don't want to tell you one thing, have it not happen and have you sue them. Tom was finally able to get someone to talk to him about a possible scenario on Fred getting back home, getting to work and his old schedule. Her input was to start thinking about the long term in seasons, not weeks or months. I know we will look back on this time years later and it will feel like it flew by, but that was a wake up call for me and what my expectations had been. I am very thankful someone could finally give us an idea of what we might be facing because it made me realize I needed to change my expectations or just let go of them completely. I haven't brought this up with Fred at all because he needs to focus on being here and getting better and as we get closer to him coming home we can start talking about how that will be.

Today Fred told me how astounded he is with the amount of support and help we have gotten from everyone. He told me he is going to be paying people back for the rest of his life. I tried to tell him that everyone is just happy he is still here and doing so well. Then he gave me the greatest gift and told me that he couldn't have done all of this without me and he owes me the most. That was all I needed to hear from him and made me love him even more. I was never keeping score, but just saying that made it all worthwhile.


  1. Get the heck home soon dude!! We all miss your guitar playin.. and your vocals too Jenna.. KEEP ON HEALING!!!

  2. Glad to hear you got some much needed affirmation from Fred. It is going to be a long road to hoe but you will make it together as a family. Ciao bella, Amy