I feel like everyday I should start my post with "what a day!" Now that I'm through the whole day and have a quiet moment to myself I can see that most people say that at the end of the their days. It has been hard lately to realize everyone else still has a life that is moving forward and has it's normal ups and downs. I don't assume everyone else is afraid to walk into the grocery store because she might run into someone she knows and burst into tears.
The day did start out nice for me. It was mellow yet productive, and I even got outside with the dog for a run/walk. Things started to slide downhill from there. I got a call from the insurance company case manager thinking that Fred was home because she saw he was discharged from inpatient status, and she was calling to check on how it was going to have him home. It wasn't the same case manager I spoke with before, and I was a little thrown off with her thinking he was home, not knowing he was still at outpatient therapy in Denver. I have been told that the insurance case manager is a person that is there to help us and make sure we are covered, but I have an inherent distrust of anyone in the insurance industry and feel like I should be holding my cards close to my chest. The whole conversation just sent me in a little bit of a tailspin of who is checking with who about what is covered and what is not. She's asking me lots of questions and talking about durable medical equipment, and it took me multiple times of saying, physically he is fine, right now it is just the brain injury. When she asked me who was paying for the patient/family apartment Fred is staying in right now I just told her I didn't know and I thought it was us, but it is cheaper and closer than a hotel. Did I also mention that I found a letter from the state about our tax returns saying we owe them 100 times more money than the tax software we used to file said we did? Luckily, we have a CPA friend that read the letter and translated for me what to do to hopefully clear up the misunderstanding, but it is little things like this that would get me upset on a day in my old life and send me into cannot deal territory today.
Tonight I had a my monthly board meeting for work, and that always ends up as a stressful afternoon for me. Today was not any better. I was trying to pull together dinner while managing a child and talking to Fred on the phone while he told me about the testing they had him do today and why the testing was flawed. My patience was running thin, so I just reminded him that he is at a place that specializes in brain injuries, so I think they know what they are doing. One thing I did agree with him on is hopefully they start packing his day a little more. If he is only getting 9 days for now in their outpatient program, I hope they start filling it up some more to maximize the benefit.
The big issue right now for Fred is that he isn't going to be able to drive a car when he gets home. To both of us, for different reasons, this seems like a big deal. It is frustrating to me that he seems fine. He can carry on a conversation just fine; his memory is fine; physically he is fine. His brain is doing a REALLY good job of covering for itself and hiding its injury. My brain wants to cover for him and tell me that he is fine and ready to come home to his old busy schedule. Today I started a list of projects that he can work on when he gets home. He might even want to go back to Denver when he sees his list of honey-do's!